what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
