...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
