I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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