My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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