She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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