someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
