you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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