i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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