well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize