you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
