Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
