Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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