we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
