you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we're making bets on your personal life
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
