theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Acid is not a monday night drug
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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