I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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