saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
