I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize