Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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