I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
