Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
