I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
