there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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