No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
