oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
