When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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