Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
