thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
