I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize