I'm so fucking centered right now
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
