She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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