i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Need sex. Gaining weight.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
