Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
