so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My pussy is not your playground.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
