whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
