I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize