I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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