The maid of honor just puked.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
