I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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