this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
