Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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