I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
