and you said cock pushups were impossible
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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