my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
