I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
