I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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