Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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