Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
