Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
