Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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