Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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