i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
