I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
