Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I am naked and annoyed.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
