My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
