I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
