I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
