he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
