508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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