Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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