I am spending my child support on dildos
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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