I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
