We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
